From the mind and life of a demented superhero.
Hello, I am Senator Jaiz, the slightly demonic superhero from the 5th dimension and newest contributor to Reaching for Lucidity. Eban says that I have to be nice here. Stupid Human he is!
I have had a weird night. I recieved a call from a lady saying that her little kitten was up a tree in Minnesota. I told her that was fine, the birds would eventually eat it. For some reason this upset her. I tell you, I do not understand stupid human emotions sometimes.
Well, after trying to calm her down for an hour I decided to hop into my trans-dimensional “Quad-Buggy” and head over to save the little critter from what her owner called a fate worse than death. Hey, I have seen fates worse than death in the 5th dimension and being eaten by birds is not that bad in comparison. Try telling that to this completely unreasonable woman though, GAH!
I stopped of at Taco Bell for a burrito as That idiot Eban chooses to live in a land with no Taco Bell to satiate my enormous apetite for fake mexican food. I arrived at the scene at 9:00 pm local time.
The lady seemed to want me to get the kitty out of the tree immediately. I tried to tell her that I had to survey the situation first. I then pointed out that this job was somewhat beneath a 7 foot tall superhero from the 5th dimension.
This is when things went off a bit. This poor woman, obviously dilusional from grief, told me that I am in fact not 7 feet tall. She said that I actually looked more like 5′ 6″ to 5′ 7″, and then she pointed out that the 5th dimension were a music group from the 60’s and 70’s that had Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis jr. or somebody in it.
Well, being a 7 foot tall superhero, I was not about to take that from a crazy and deranged human. We argued for what must have been an hour, during which time her neighbor came out with a ladder and saved the stupid cat.
Now, the job done, I gave her a chance to tell me how great a 7 foot tall superhero from the 5th dimension I am. Instead she cursed me and said that I was a short fraud.
I showed her real good, using my mind bullets I flattened the tires of her car for showing me disrespect. She pointed out that the car actually belonged to her neighbor. I told her that that is what he gets for living next to such a mean-spirited and delusional human that does not respect superheros from the 5th dimension.
No one appreciates the superhero that I am. Stupid humans.
I hopped back into my transdimensional “Quad-Buggy” and hit Taco Bell before returning to England. Man, I love Taco Bell!
At least I can sleep well knowing that Eban really covets my “MIND BULLETS!”.
Till next time I will now say goodbye to you insignificant humans.
(P.S. from now on I will only handle real emergencies, I hate cats!)