The Summer Season Needs to End, I Now Hate Tourists

posted in: RfL 2.0 | 2

The season always starts the same. I enjoy seeing the people come into our small town and bring life into the area. Seeing the beach full of people having fun and the amusement park complex getting into full swing. It makes me feel a little more alive after the long winter season where it seems that the town just goes into hibernation.

Well, all things come to an end. The latest casualty is my tolerance for the people that invade my town. This happens every year, no matter where I live. There comes a moment when I, as a local inhabitant of a touristy area, get fed up with the tourists and start to long for the long and hibernating days of the “off” season.

I reached the point today, it was two seperate, probably lovely children (at least to their parents) which drove me over the edge of my tourist tolerance level.

One child needed a volume switch connected between the brain and the voice-box. This child “SCREAMED!” for 20 minutes straight, right across from my flat on the green. The child was not upset, no, she just thought the world needed to hear her words. The words which in the entire 20 minutes amounted to not much more than “Yaaaaaaayyyyyy!”, “MUMMY!”, “DADDY!”, and “I HAVE TO PEE!”.

Finally the family moved on to the beach. I can still hear this kid’s shrill cry in the distance. She must be damaging the hearing of everyone at the beach. Luckily it is only 9:21 am and the beach is far from full. Oh, I did mention that it is only 9:21 am, right?

Just as this family of obviously dulled genes were moving on I got treated to the bane of all those not wishing to tolerate other people’s children. Let me put this another way.

Parents, hear me! There is no good reason or excuse to ever, EVER, buy your child either a whistle or a bell. Let me reiterate, there is no good reason or excuse to “EVER” buy your child a whistle or a bell. It should be a crime to buy them both at the same time. Do all of you out there see where I am going with this? There is only one thing a child can do with a whistle or a bell, and they will do that continuously!

This assault on my sanity was mercifully shorter than the last as this family had the graciousness to move directly to the beach. It was still a good four minutes of pure hell that is now ingrained into my skull.

I add this to the group that completely destroyed the seafront two weeks ago, plus the dreaded “Peter Stringfellow types” and I come to only one sane conclussion. It is now time to start our town’s trek back to the long winter season hibernation. How am I supposed to write one book, much less two under these tortuous conditions?

Wow, that is all that I can say, just wow.

Be seeing you.

(For all of my new readers that did not read my original blog at, let me explain the dreaded “Peter Stringfellow Types”. These are guys in their fifties or older that are not only overweight but insist on wearing thong swimtrunks at the beach. Truly hideous creatures.)

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2 Responses

  1. Oh my….that sucks. I’m with you….I am ready for wintery days too. The tourists season is almost over…thank goodness.

    Hopefully, the frequency of those loud motorbikes will slow down a bit too.

  2. I took care of the parents of one child in my podcast today. Revenge is sweet! Miss you!

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