When I First Started (insert phrase here)

Gordon, Scott, and Pat acting the fool by Totallyangel

Everyone is new at something at first. I know, that is a redundant statement, but it makes sense to say considering what this post is about.

What is that, you ask?

Newbies and social media, or networking, or whatever.

The curse of the noob is not fun. Noobs come in and barnstorm where decorum is the name of the game. Where things are riotous, they come in and try to be authority.

They are, well, noobs.

Hell, we have all been there. My noob experience was filled with the dreams that come from “make money online” gurus. I had every free e-book, and I shelled out some serious cash for the programs. I was going to take over the world.

Well, that didn’t happen. Luckily I am quick with the learning curves. I learned the lay of the land and followed my passions. Design, media, research, and meeting new and interesting people that enhance my web networking experience.

But, noobs, they are always there. For every web user that elevates above noob status, three or more jump in to take their place.

The type of noob that is aggravating me right now is a bit personal, as I was close to that type of noob myself.

Luckily back in the old days when I was an aggravating noob, things like Twitter did not exist. Hell, AOL, Yahoo, LiveJournal, and forums were still the lay of the land. I had to work at aggravating others, and my reach was pretty dismal.

Unfortunately, Twitter, FriendFeed, Facebook, and the like do exist now, and the noobs are amplified.

I get friend and follow requests everyday from people that have nothing in their streams but adverts for the same stupid make money online programs from back in the day. No following community decorum, no real posting, just puked up, canned ads. It is crazy.

There is even a guy in England (I will keep the name out of it as who knows which name is real?) with several different accounts all offering the same crap “get rich quick” or “get new followers fast” products.

The thing that elevates this guy from aggravation that does not conform to community standards, to total asshole, is when you un-follow his accounts, he un-follows and re-follows, several times, trying to get you back.

Getting hit by a double-decker bus is too good for him. He is pure evil.

Listen folks, I get that you have this great program or script that got you 17,000 followers even though you only have 25 posts. Good for you. I would put my measly 1400-1500 followers up against yours any day. I have carefully cultivated this list and I get value from most of the people on it. Yes, some are filler, like those with forgotten and unused accounts, but I can guarantee your accounts are almost all filler.

And then comes the money schemes. Only morons are clicking on your links. I know there are morons out there, but come on, do you really want that online rep?

You did not make a fortune. You are not rich. You did not find the freakin secret program. You just did not! You are another noob, sitting at home with dreams of overnight internet wealth and the fame and adoration that goes with it.

Now, let’s go to that next level, the auto-responder. If I follow you, I am giving you the benefit of doubt. I am giving you a certain level of trust, but it is only a test. How do you fail that test, by hitting me up with an auto-respond direct message trying to “help me” or show me the way.

Hey, idiot! I was here before you. I know the way. You showing me your bad manners and lack of etiquette right from the go only shows you to be someone that needs to follow for a while, not lead, or “show the way.” You are an asshole. Seriously.

Okay, so you got the griping, now is there an answer? Nope.

I can hope that a noob reads this and self identifies and starts on the path to being a proper online citizen.

I mean, we could mass shun the gits, but then the gits would just flock together and organize. Could domination be far behind? Yeah, probably not.

Unfortunately, as the web gets easier to use, and the online services and apps get better, we will get more noobs and more aggravation. Hopefully the learning curves will get faster as well.

We can hope.

Cheers,
Eban